your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
