But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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