he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You can't just leave with hair like that
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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