Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize