is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
