I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
