his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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