just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
