problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
