I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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