How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
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Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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