Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
