I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I want her autograph on my taint
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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