they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
