if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize