Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
