In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize