They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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