Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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