The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
