He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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