we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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