If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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