You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
