I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
