Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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