jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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