this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
