I need help removing her.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize