Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
