she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
