So drunk its hurt
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
