I wish i was in the wii world.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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