its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
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I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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