There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
