If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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