Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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