just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
