i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
