Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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