Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
