He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want to make out with him forever
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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