Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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