i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
