What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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