He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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