Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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  (303): if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head http://tfl.nu/px1l
  Replies (10) Good night (490) Bad night (2573) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

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  (508): she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution? http://tfl.nu/2bly
  Replies (15) Good night (4668) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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  (402): Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/fedc
  Replies (23) Good night (5917) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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  (781): Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night. http://tfl.nu/89jq
  Replies (15) Good night (1623) Bad night (4031) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

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  (319): I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online http://tfl.nu/tzby
  Replies (13) Good night (5360) Bad night (786)
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  (949): View more from California

  I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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  (949): I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed.. http://tfl.nu/gr14
  Replies (58) Good night (1157) Bad night (5419) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (6946) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

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  (530): I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother. http://tfl.nu/6hsn
  Replies (9) Good night (2416) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING

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  (780): let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING http://tfl.nu/vf6d
  Replies (7) Good night (1908) Bad night (510)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

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  (+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day? http://tfl.nu/3a44
  Replies (14) Good night (3340) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

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  (484): cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market http://tfl.nu/r2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...

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  (802): Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not... http://tfl.nu/ztpl
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (306)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

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  (360): So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace. http://tfl.nu/c8hs
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.

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  (203): I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do. http://tfl.nu/63i1
  Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.

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  (250): Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ufbe
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt

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