Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.