I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"