Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Getting food. Want anything?

  (1-949): View more from California

  Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce

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  (949): Getting food. Want anything? (1-949): Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce http://tfl.nu/xicu
  Replies (7) Good night (2103) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

  (352): View more from Florida

  WHAT?!

  (407): View more from Florida

  He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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  (407): So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch. (352): WHAT?! (407): He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/9qqv
  Replies (6) Good night (793) Bad night (2483)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.

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  (248): My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla. http://tfl.nu/zjhc
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (2598)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.

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  (303): dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party. http://tfl.nu/thh9
  Replies (9) Good night (2381) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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  (775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2
  Replies (53) Good night (9306) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.

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  (860): Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here. http://tfl.nu/m999
  Replies (10) Good night (3124) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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  (503): There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/694m
  Replies (8) Good night (4454) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him

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  (412): He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/4xvd
  Replies (13) Good night (4070) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2724) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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  (780): i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch. http://tfl.nu/33ox
  Replies (7) Good night (1991) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?

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  (781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf
  Replies (7) Good night (4459) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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  (480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...

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  (301): well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train... http://tfl.nu/vvir
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.

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  (250): She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever. http://tfl.nu/asbh
  Replies (3) Good night (1383) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

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  (785): You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised. http://tfl.nu/dvsv
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (370)

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