Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment

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  (949): he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment http://tfl.nu/ipb9
  Replies (18) Good night (3766) Bad night (748)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?

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  (205): he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy? http://tfl.nu/nikx
  Replies (36) Good night (666) Bad night (4913)
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  (909): View more from California

  i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.

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  (909): i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner. http://tfl.nu/h169
  Replies (17) Good night (3043) Bad night (4678)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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  (847): Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better. http://tfl.nu/ewir
  Replies (17) Good night (3365) Bad night (872)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking

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  (708): The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking http://tfl.nu/dj6c
  Replies (49) Good night (1508) Bad night (4132)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't

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  (403): If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't http://tfl.nu/df5x
  Replies (20) Good night (3299) Bad night (2649)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

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  (253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma
  Replies (13) Good night (5571) Bad night (1158)
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1282) Bad night (12057)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.

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  (917): Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor. http://tfl.nu/lzwd
  Replies (10) Good night (3417) Bad night (1001)
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  (873): View more from

  I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in

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  (873): I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in http://tfl.nu/bvll
  Replies (3) Good night (2082) Bad night (510)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.

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  (304): I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay? (1-304): Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime. http://tfl.nu/2vyh
  Replies (6) Good night (1631) Bad night (459)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married

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  (508): he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married http://tfl.nu/dg6a
  Replies (10) Good night (742) Bad night (434)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.

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  (248): This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone. http://tfl.nu/i8ci
  Replies (5) Good night (425) Bad night (994)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...

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  (484): I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata... http://tfl.nu/0hr1
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (380)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.

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  (407): There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high. http://tfl.nu/pv1a
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (343)

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