I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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