im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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