That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need a beard to bite.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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