He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
