Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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