We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
