i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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