Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
