trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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