Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
