My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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