return my video game
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
